Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Dear Celia

I know this is crazy, and a personal thing to post here for everyone to read, but I have to do it. I feel like this is my one good chance to tell you I miss you. We all miss you.

The thought occurred to me the other day that you might remember I have a blog and maybe you are checking it from time to time. Stupid, I know, but it was a thought. Then my heart broke because I realized that if you are checking it to see what's been happening since you left, it may seem like we just picked up and moved on without you. I post pictures of silly things the kids have done, birthdays and anniversaries that have come and gone, and trips that we have taken. The fact is there isn't a day, maybe even an hour that doesn't pass that you are not on our minds. The reality is that time does not stand still. The things that make up life still keep coming and to keep some sort of sanity in tact we have no choice but to keep going.

We keep going by hoping and praying that you are safe. I hope that you know you are loved and valued. I hope that you know whatever your reason for leaving, you know you can always come back. I hope you have a desire to come back. I hope you know that you are cream of the crop, the sweetest of sweet, and we are all worried sick over what is going on. You simply cannot imagine the terrible things that loom in the back of our minds- the endless list of terrifying things you could be going through right now. Not to mention the sheer agony of not being able to do anything about it.

If you think that we do not need you, you are sorely mistaken. If you think that we do not love you and do not care about what you do with your life, nothing could be farther from the truth. If you need to hear me beg, then here you go:

Celia, please call. Please write. Please text. Send smoke signals. Please do something, anything. This is crazy. We are all a huge mess without you in the mix. My words just don't do justice for the way my heart and soul ache for you. We want you to be safe. We want you to be happy. We want you to be part of our family. If for some reason you don't feel that is a good choice anymore, then fine. We'll have to get over that fact. But running from your problems is not going to fix anything. Come home long enough to make new arrangements, a new plan that will work for everyone. We want you to have peace. We want you to sort things out so you can get on with your life and do the fabulous things we all know you can do. When you left, my sister but more importantly, one of my best friends left. You are not some random person hanging out or tagging along! You are important to our family. There is a gaping hole where you used to be.

Bottom line is this: We love you. We pray for you. We miss you. Please, please, come home.

Love,
Audrey

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