when your doctor is going over your chart and tells you "everything looks good except for the fact that you've failed your urine test today."
Apparently my doctor moonlights as a comedian. I guess he thinks giving pregnant woman little mini heart attacks is amusing.
Let me tell you what went down before you assume that I am a woman with child who is also addicted to some illicit drug (which is the first thing that came to my mind even though I know what I've been doing...and I'm pretty sure chocolate isn't considered to be illicit, although the due to the amounts that I ingest it may be considered a drug).
It was the normal routine. Weigh in (which is always so much fun), go to the bathroom and leave the little pink cup sample in the pass through door, then wait in exam room #3 for my blood pressure to be taken. Easy enough.
You would think.
I stepped on the scale and was amazed that I had put on five pounds since the last visit (two and a half weeks ago). I guess all the excess eating is starting to catch up with me.
I walk to the bathroom, lock the door behind me, pull out the seat cover, place it appropriately, sit down and do my thing (after lowering the clothing of course. I'm not so distracted that I can't remember to pull my pants down before I pee. I was just trying to be not so graphic as I am blogging about leaving a urine sample for my care providers).
About 7/8 of the way through my out put I remembered that I forgot one crucial thing...the little pink cup. I stop, thinking that maybe the few remaining drops will be sufficient, but when I go to make that happen, nothing comes out. I guess I was totally done, just hoping I was 7/8 of the way.
I tell the nurse of my little oversight, well really the whole purpose for the trip to the bathroom, and she dismisses it with a wave of her hand. "No big deal, next time," she says.
Little did I know it was prime material for my hil-ar-ious doctor.
Har dee har, har. I guess he's gotta find some way to stay sane while working with pregnant, moody, forgetful, hormonal, and sensitive women on a constant basis.
He's lucky today wasn't National Make-Every-Man-Pay-Because-I'm-Pregnant-Day.
2 comments:
You're hilarious Audrey! Next time you'll have to write yourself a little pink cup reminder note on the palm of your hand...or maybe your thigh. ha ha Ok, please don't make tomorrow "National-I-am-going-to-leave-Kira-some-laxative-filled-cookies-Day." Way to make my evening - that was funny.
you are a crack up. m
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